He messaged me one day. There was a picture posted of him and his girlfriend. You could see there was a definite difference in age, but there was a brightness in his eyes that could even be caught in photos. I was poly, bisexual, and everything “they” were looking for.
We talked for a long time. He was from Florida, but frequently went on trips for work. His girlfriend had a girlfriend, and he explained to me the dynamic of their relationship. She was beautiful and so was hers. Never did I think I could compare to their long legs and beach bodies.
He told me that he would come visit me. He had a meeting in Chicago, he’d land in Milwaukee and make the drive to see me. The week that he was supposed to come came and went. I didn’t hear from him. He didn’t return my texts and ignored my calls. I cried. I felt stupid. Crying over some random man from the internet. Then he finally responded. He said he had been in the hospital, and I believed him.
I told him about my fetishes. I told him about things I wanted to try and things I was interested in. He asked me to be his baby girl. He asked me to call him my Daddy Dom. He loved it when I called him Daddy. Everyday by a specific time, he needed a photo of his choice. He would count down. “5 minutes, babygirl.” He loved being in control of me. I loved that he loved seeing me.
He stopped talking about his personal life. He didn’t care when I talked about mine. He quickly changed the subject and only spoke of what he wanted to do to me when he finally got here. He was never emotionally supportive. He never actually listened to me. I was (and still am) going through a rough divorce. He paid no attention. It was like I never mentioned it.
He would send me pictures of him and his girlfriend…. thinking I’d like it, but it actually made me more self conscious. She was so beautiful, so thin, perfect smile, perfect everything. I had just had two babies and wasn’t too confident about my post partum figure. I requested that he stop sending me photos because it made me insecure, instead he sent me video.
We continued to text constantly… from the moment he woke up to the moment he went to bed. He said that I was always in his head. My voice could make him cum. He loved it when I called him Daddy. He kept saying, “I can’t get you out of my head.” He even said he dreamt of me and what he’d do to me. Everything was all about him. He asked me to get tested for STDs so he didn’t have to use a condom.
He planned his trip. He was going to spend one night here and then drive to Chicago in the morning. He asked me to buy something sexy to wear, lube, and a toy. I obeyed even though I didn’t have much money. The moment he got here, I went to see him. He was as perfect as I had imagined. His eyes were a mixture of silver and green. He told me he was already planning another trip and asked about my schedule with my kids.
He held me… kissed me… he had his way with me. I enjoyed every moment of it. We were in bed together, and he wanted me to go. He didn’t say it. I just knew it… I kissed him one last time and left.
I got a “Good morning” text for a couple of days… and nothing after that. He was gone. Just like that. We talked for months… literally, 4-5 months. The feelings I had for him were real. I knew nothing would come of it… but I didn’t think he’d just disappear.
I didn’t talk about it because I had no one to tell. He was a secret. I held it in for a very long time, and it ate away at me… at my confidence… at my self esteem.
I write this for two reasons…. one is to vent and to let people know why I’m hesitant about having a Daddy Dom. The one after him wasn’t as bad, but still didn’t provide the comfort that a Daddy Dom should. Honestly, I’d love to have one – or a Mistress… but I’m scared to become vulnerable. I’m scared to just be used. Opening up is scary.
The second reason I write this is for all of the ones who identify as littles out there. There are men on these sites with bad intentions. Please be careful. It is easy to call yourself a Dom or Daddy. It is easy for them to make you do things out of your comfort level, but do they provide you with the emotional support you need and deserve… and do they do it on a regular basis? The Daddy Dom/little dynamic should be give/take.
There *are* real Daddy Doms out there… good ones who treat their littles well. Be picky.