I’m a Fool

I was a fool to think I was anything to you…
That I could be someone who mattered in your life…
I was a fool to think that our conversations had more meaning….
That we would be more than sex
Of course you say you’ll visit…. There’s no one holding you accountable.
I am no one to you, my damaged feelings don’t matter.
You don’t care.. And neither did anyone before you.
Emotional connections lack..
I know my worth, even though…. I’ve been foolish and naive, and definitely don’t act like it
Self destruction is my trade mark in relationships.
I tear myself down, I tear the world you know down, and I tear us down until you decide to go…. Because i am too much. I’m too fucken crazy.
Don’t feel bad for me… It just means I can feel SO MUCH MORE than you
I make things beautiful, then crash, and throw them around….
Because it gets too real for me…. Or because I have invested too much emotion in YOU
You will leave me, like he did, like they all did… Like they all will.
It’s better to not.
It’s better to keep distance from you and everyone else.
I know my worth.
I don’t want to be a secret, a third, a fourth, a portion, a secret desire, a secret text.
I want and deserve to be someone’s all.
Someone’s choice, someone’s priority…. Someone’s LOVE

I’m a fool to think I’ll ever be that important to anyone
You see me, and view me as a sexual object….
An Asian fetish…
A third to your couple..
I don’t want to be hurt.

Good bye, my fantasy love. . .
Your fool has grown her wings

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